Owed
by shannyfish
Summary: Prompt: D'avin utters this line to Dutch. "I owed you a life". No character death.


**Author's Note:** For MusinginGA.

 **Prompt:** D'avin utters this line to Dutch. "I owed you a life". No character death.

* * *

It happened quickly and almost too fast to process. Dutch stared into his blue eyes, her hands pressed against the glass that separated them. Tears flooded and blurred her vision. They hadn't been fast enough. "Please—"

"You have to go!" D'avin screamed as he pounded against the glass.

This was never the plan. This wasn't how it was supposed to happen. All she'd wanted was to keep her boys safe. Johnny was already in a weakened state because of the knife wound that had led to excessive blood loss only a little over two weeks before. He'd JUST recovered, but that didn't mean he was one hundred percent. Maybe that's why Khlyen had chosen him. Or maybe it was because he knew that she was close to John, that she'd been so close to him for the last six years. She had pictures of the two of them together…happy and smiling. Khlyen hadn't taken Johnny, but had rather poisoned him with something that she'd thought had no antidote…just a painful death. Khlyen had insisted that he had an antidote, though. In return for it, he'd wanted her to cooperate with whatever he wanted (to basically leave the life she'd made behind). She'd tried to just give in to that though, but the boys had talked her out of it.

"I'm going to get you out!" Dutch told him as she snapped out of it and hit the glass barrier between them. It was useless, though, she knew that…but sometimes it just felt good to hit something.

"John doesn't have the time!"

He was right.

She hated that he was right.

Right now, she knew what would happen if she stayed and what would happen if she went back to Lucy. Neither was a good option. Fear gripped her as she struggled with the reality of the situation. It hit her hard. If she stayed, Johnny would die and he'd die a horribly painful death, but she was certain that if she had the extra time that she could get D'avin out and that they could make it back to Lucy together. If she left, Johnny would live because she'd be able to get him the antidote back to Lucy in time, but then Khlyen would kill D'avin. The options were horrid. In that moment she couldn't think of a way to save BOTH Jaqobis brothers.

She'd failed them.

D'avin and John, they were her family. Dutch placed her hand over one of D'avin's, knowing that she had precious little time to make her decision. "I'm sorry," Dutch finally sputtered out. She couldn't believe that this was it. She should have never put her boys in the line of danger. "I should have—"

But D'avin seemed more than okay with what was happening. "It's okay," D'avin told her, he seemed completely at peace. "I owed you a life."

"I thought you owed me two?" she found herself teasing without really thinking about it. Dutch didn't want to leave him. Even after everything that they'd been through she was having a hard time coming to terms with leaving D'avin behind. No matter what had happened, D'avin was part of her family.

A short laugh burst out of him. "I'm not so easy to kill," D'avin reminded her. "Go! Take care of John. You two take care of each other." He paused. "Run! Stay far away from Khlyen."

"D'av—"

"Go!"

Time was nearly up. She'd lose John if she didn't leave in the next couple of minutes and bust her ass to get back to Lucy. It was so odd to her, she'd known John six years, but there was just something about the Jaqobis brothers that made you fall in love with them in such a short window of time. It was like that with John, well…after she'd stopped him from trying to steal Lucy. She'd loved John and he'd weaseled his way into her heart and they'd made a family between the two of them. D'avin had just joined their team, it seemed and felt, but he was already such an integral part of their family. John needed his brother. She needed them both. Their team wasn't the same without D'avin…and here she was…being made to make her choice between John and D'av.

Because of Khlyen.

"I'm sorry," she whispered, absolutely heartbroken, before turning and running straight for Lucy and not looking back once. She was afraid that if she looked back, that she wouldn't be able to carry on. John would die and she couldn't let John die. Dutch hadn't felt so emotional in her life, not even when she'd been a small girl. It was like a dam had burst open. This was the first time in her life that she REMEMBERED having a family and having it taken away from her.

Khlyen had warned her.

A thousand thoughts spun around her head and made her head spin in return. Questions. Curses. Wishes. Dreams. Hopes. Thoughts. None of them mattered right now, though. All that mattered was that Johnny received the antidote. Dutch kept telling herself that she couldn't lose BOTH of them. Tears fell from her eyes, down her cheeks, and she felt like an absolute mess. Right now, her feelings were a luxury she couldn't indulge in and possibly risk the only family she had left. So, she pushed all the thoughts to the back of her head, locking them away and concentrating on getting back to John.

John.

God, they'd been through so much together.

He'd been the only person that she had felt like she could REALLY trust…for so long now… He was adorable and sweet. John was sincere and a true, loyal friend. He would do anything for her, even if it meant giving up his own life. Growing up, she had never expected to be able to have someone like that in her life.

John.

Johnny.

Lucy's ramp was completely lowered by the time she got there. Her feet hitting the ground faster than they ever had before. Dutch didn't even register if Lucy's ramp sealed behind her. All she cared about was getting to Johnny in time. Had she taken too long? It felt like she'd been holding her breath by the time Johnny's still, pale body came into sight. Her steps slowed incredibly as she waited for a rise and fall of his chest to indicate that she'd gotten there in time.

His breathing was shallow.

It was there, though.

He was alive.

She'd made it in time.

Dutch didn't waste anymore time and immediately administered the antidote, standing by to wait for signs to present themselves that it was working. It had to work. It was completely possible that Khlyen could be messing with them, but she knew that she had to have hope. She had to have hope that she wasn't going to be losing everything that made her life good and happy.

So, she waited.

Silence.

Time passed.

"Dutch?" Johnny finally blurted out in a very drunk sounding tone. It was a moment before his sky blue eyes opened and assured her that the antidote was definitely working.

Slowly and gently, she stroked Johnny's short hair. A smile spread across her face and grief hit her so hard it nearly knocked her over. She sucked in a deep breath and held it as she told herself that she couldn't cry. The emotions and thoughts that she'd forced to be bottled up were pushing to be released.

Not yet.

Not now.

"I'm here," she whispered. "You just rest…"

He was alive.

He was going to live.

That was all that mattered.

"Sleep…"

John's eyes closed at her words and she continued to run her fingers through his short hair. It was comforting, but also terrifying. How could she tell John what had happened? What the antidote had cost? Cost them all? Dutch just didn't know how she was going to tell him, mostly because she was afraid of Johnny's reaction. Would he blame her? It had been Khlyen… Khlyen had been the one who had poisoned Johnny. Khlyen had been the one who was likely killing— Her eyes squeezed shut and she tried to push thoughts of D'avin to the back of her head. She couldn't break down. This wasn't the time. Johnny needed to rest, she couldn't drop that weight on him, not now…not like that. Khlyen had been behind all of the hurt when it came to the Jaqobis brothers…but it had been because of her.

SHE was responsible.

Khlyen was there for her.

This was HER fault.

Blood was on her hands and she had to live with that. She knew that. She didn't know if she could bear it…or even more, if she could bear living with that blood on her hands if Johnny couldn't forgive her. This was the ONE time in her life where she absolutely needed absolution. With his eyes closed now, Dutch just hoped that he was sleeping and peacefully so. She moved to the nearest wall, her back against it, and slid down. From where she sat, she could still see him and could spring up, if needed, but she just…she needed to wallow in her thoughts now that things allowed for it.

"Dutch?" Johnny mumbled, slurring her name a bit. He didn't move and his eyes didn't open.

"I'm still here," she whispered.

Johnny asked the hard question that she'd been hoping to avoid. "Where's D'av?"

Pulling her knees up to her chest, her mouth just dropped open as she fought for the right words to say. She didn't want to tell him now…and she didn't know how to break the news to the person who had not only been her closest friend, but also family. Dutch just didn't know if she could do this. If she was ready for Johnny's reaction to what had happened.

"I'm here, Johnny."

Dutch's head swung so quickly to the side that it hurt and her eyes widened as far as they could go, to take in what she had half expected was a hallucination. It wasn't. There he was. D'avin Jaqobis. A bit beaten, bruised, and bloody…but he was there just standing in the doorway. She started to form a word, but D'av put his finger to his mouth and she knew that he meant that they didn't need to have that conversation right there or then.

"We're both here," D'avin said. "We're all safe."

"Routing back to Westerly," Lucy's voice chimed in.

They were safe.

All of them.

And they were going home.

Her eyes left D'avin just long enough to check on Johnny again. He seemed to be appeased and likely comforted by both of them being present. The rise and fall of his chest had slowed and she could see his eyes beginning to move back and forth underneath his eyelids. Johnny was asleep and she hoped that he slept the entire way back to Westerly. It might not REALLY be any of their homes, but it felt like it. She'd have Pawter check him once they landed, just to be certain that the poison had left his system and that he was going to be okay. Dutch wasn't going to take chances.

A moment later, she had company as D'avin moved to her side, sliding down the wall much the same way she'd done. His arm wrapped around her and she allowed her head to rest against him. He was safe. Johnny was safe.

Right now, it was enough.

* * *

The End.


End file.
